


The End, Almost

by ElfMaidenOfLight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon, Canon Era, Devotion, Emotional suffering, M/M, Mutual Pining, dancing on the edge of a confession, non-established relationship, romantic relationship but not really, they both know it but they won't say it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:44:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElfMaidenOfLight/pseuds/ElfMaidenOfLight
Summary: A brief moment between Captain and Commander as another day's sun dies on the horizon line.





	The End, Almost

The brush made a _shursh-_ ing sound as Levi drew stiff bristles over the toe of his boot, smearing polish. Although attentive to his work, he had undoubtedly noticed that Erwin had paused in his writing. Dark eyes flicked upward, and Erwin was caught where he sat behind his desk.

A corner of Levi’s mouth pulled upward, if slightly, before he turned his attention back to his cleaning. “Keep staring at me like that and I’m bound to get the wrong idea.” He brought the boot up and puffed a breath across its gleaming surface, dislodging remaining dust.

Erwin allowed his chin to sink into his upturned palm. “I was just thinking.”

Levi snorted as he continued his work. “Dangerous sort of thing for you to be doing. Do I even want to know?”

A war-weary sigh escaped through Erwin’s nose, and he let his shoulders hunch by a degree. It was the smallest sign of fatigue, one he only allowed himself in the company of those he trusted dearly.

After a moment of consideration, he said, “I wish I’d learned to fly like you, when I had the chance. Before I lost the arm.”

Levi paused, setting down both the boot and the polish onto the sofa table. He turned where he sat on the couch, giving Erwin his full attention with crossed arms. There was an extra crease as his brows drew together.

“You fly fine for a hulking idiot. Well, you _did_. You’re only moderately terrible now thanks to me. Those drills we practiced—”

“I know,” Erwin said quickly. He cleared his throat, sitting up straight again in his chair. “But even before… It was incredible to watch.”

Something of a thin smile, laced with nostalgia, softened Levi’s expression. “Envious, were you?”

“Hard not to be. There I was, formal training for years, and there you were, self taught and like a damn bird. Still are.”

“Well,” Levi unfolded himself, rising fluidly to his feet, “no one flies like I do.” He crossed the room in a few paces, sitting himself in the chair opposite Erwin’s. “You said so yourself back then.”

Erwin was still staring over Levi’s shoulder, framed by the dying evening sunlight. “I should have had you teach me.”

“I did offer.”

Erwin nodded. “You did.”

Levi leaned sideways in the chair, resting his forearm on the desk. “Come on, old man,” his voice pitched lower, softer, “What’s this really about?”

A laugh escaped Erwin’s lips. “It’s terribly morose…”

“Shocking,” Levi deadpanned.

Erwin gave him a look before taking a breath, tapping his finger upon the table. “I find myself drifting more and more into memories. Things I haven’t thought of in years. Decades. My childhood; back when I joined the Scouts; the time you’ve been by my side, of course.” Across the table, Levi swallowed, eyes darting away and back again. Erwin pressed on. “I feel... I feel as if I’m hurling toward the end.”

There was a tick of silence between them before Levi spoke. “You may have one arm in the grave Erwin, but you’re not dead yet. There’s no reason to worry—”

“That’s just it, Levi. I don’t fear it. I don’t despair. It simply feels as if the last few pages are turning over; that it’s all drawing toward its natural, inevitable conclusion. You always said our deaths were unavoidable.”

A muscle in Levi’s jaw tightened. “I’ve never even _considered_ the thought of outliving you.”

“Funny,” Erwin muttered, “I always knew you would.”

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, Erwin, who’s to say anything’s ending at all? You’ve got yourself all wound up about nothing but bullshit.” As quickly as the desperate indignation flared in Levi’s eyes, it cooled again, as if he remembered himself. He looked at the table, where Erwin’s arm rested just a few inches from his own. “You’re right, Erwin, this _is_ fucking depressing.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh shut up,” Levi sighed without venom, chewing on his next words. “Who else could we talk to about all this shit anyway?” He held the other man’s gaze. “I’ll probably be rambling to your empty chair when you finally kick the bucket.”

Erwin frowned. “Nonsense.”

“You’re not as replicable as you think you are. Maybe in rank,” Levi added quickly, as Erwin opened his mouth to argue further, “but I’ll be honest with you…”

“Aren’t you always?”

“You’ve wound yourself into enough lives around here,” Levi continued, ignoring the other man’s tease. He looked away towards the wall, alighting his profile in the amber sun. “Add up all the damn cleaning supplies I’ve got stocked round here and I still wouldn’t be able to wash you out of this place. You’ll be a damn phantom within these walls.”

Erwin’s lips parted in surprise. “Why would you ever think that?”

Levi huffed, hand upon the table curling slightly. “Because _I’ll_ still be here, old man, that’s why.” He shifted in his seat, glancing at Erwin sideways. “You want morose? You want honesty? Sometimes I can’t remember where either of us ends or where we each begin.” He snorted bitterly. “I wonder just when I became your damn shadow.”

“Most likely around the time I stopped scolding you for entering my office unannounced,” Erwin said quietly, absorbing the conversation in his pensive, deliberate way.

“When you trusted me.”

Erwin stood from his chair, wandering over to the bookcase. “I’ve always trusted you, Levi.” Pushing away a few deliberately placed books, he procured a small glass decanter and two glasses.

“Shit.” Levi watched as Erwin strode back to the table, the two glasses held in the crook of what remained of his right arm. “Don’t you turn this into a pissing contest,” he said. He watched Erwin set the bottle down with his left hand. “You and I both know you didn’t trust me from the start, but you put on a brave face anyway. You played the roll until it was real. Until it made sense.”

“Until something changed.”

Levi grunted, reaching forward to uncork the decanter, Erwin sitting with the glasses. He filled them each as they were laid between them.

“We both did what we had to do for the cause,” Erwin said, fixing his fingers around the glass closest to him.

“Fuck the cause,” Levi snapped, taking his cup and downing a swig without waiting for Erwin to do the same. He wheezed out a breath, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The tips of his cheeks were pink. “I didn’t dedicate myself for the goddamn good of humanity.”

It was Erwin’s turn to look away. “But it was easier when we told ourselves that, wasn’t it?”

Levi licked his lips. “It was a good placeholder.”

Erwin smiled over the rim of his glass before he took a sip. “Thank you, Levi.”

“Yeah? You can thank me by not getting yourself killed because you _feel it_ or whatever.”

“I’ll try. Until then, I really don’t mind having a shadow.”

“Better not. You’re stuck with me, you know.”

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be finishing my other eruri fic. I'm so sorry! Hopefully it will be posted soon. Thanks for reading.


End file.
